Judgment and Hypocrisy...They go hand in hand

Ever wonder why a lot of people hate coming to church?? I know that I do! I may have figured out why most people don't want to go to church...because they're tired of being judged by Christians. Don't even try to fix your mouth and say that you're not guilty of this. I mean, I've even been guilty of it. Say that a young lady walks in with a dress on that looks like she wore it to the club last night...she gets all these crazy stares, people start whispering as she walks by and we think this is okay. No, it's not. Don't you remember what it was like when you first started going to church? And I'm not talking about going to church because your parents made you. I'm talking about when you made the decision on your own to go to church because you wanted to get your life back on track and live for God. Do you think it's easy for an unbeliever to walk into church knowing the life that they lived wasn't for God? That's extremely hard to do and Christians think it's okay to talk about their past and hold it over their head. Umm...excuse me, but didn't you do some of these same things BEFORE you got saved?? Yeah, let's not go there then.

It's so much judgment going on in the church it's ridiculous. Now here's the deal. Yes, Christians can judge other Christians...don't believe me, read 1 Corinthians 5:12-13 on your own. Some people tend to ignore those verses. So only God can judge you, right?? Well, this is both right and wrong. It depends on who you're talking about though. These verses specifically say that Christians can judge other Christians...now those that are outside the church are another story. God judges those outside the church. It makes me feel bad for them though because I'd rather have my brothers & sisters in Christ to judge me so that I can get my life back on track than to die, let God judge me and I end up suffering an eternity in hell. Obviously God's judgment is harsher than judgment from fellow believers. But judgment from fellow believers can hurt as well.

I gotta question...if we know what judgment felt like before we got saved, why do we as Christians still judge unbelievers? It makes no sense to me. Aren't we supposed to love on them? Isn't that how they're supposed to see the light/love of Christ?


Some people are about to be mad at me for this statement but I'll go ahead and say it anyways. You're judging an unbeliever/soon to be believer who's trying to get their life right but you're sinning right along with them. Come on now...you can't do that!!

Matthew 7:1-5 NLT says,
 “Do not judge others, and you will not be judged.2 For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged. 3 “And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? 4 How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? 5 Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye. 

As you can see, I'm going somewhere with this. We love to tell others about themselves but when it comes to us, we get mad or upset as soon as somebody mentions anything we've done/we're doing wrong. If that's not hypocrisy then I don't know what it is. Christians are some of the biggest hypocrites I've ever seen, myself included. I could judge somebody so quickly but get mad when someone does it to me. I laugh at it now but I was a mess when I first got saved. I was sending everybody that sinned straight to hell and I don't even have a hell to put anybody in. But thank God for His grace and mercy!! I'm so glad that God renewed by mind. (Romans 12:2) 

I said all this to end it here...Christians, if we want to see more people saved, we've got to stop being hypocrites, stop judging unbelievers and show them the same love that was shown to us when we first got saved. Unbelievers, I apologize to you on the behalf of any Christian that has wrongfully judged you. I'm sorry that you feel like you can't go to church because of this but know that not all Christians are like that. We honestly do want to see you saved and live your life for God. We want to fellowship with you. We really do love you even though we don't show it sometimes. Please come back to the church! 

Yep, I Was Once A Side Chick (And it only took me 6 years after the relationship ended to figure it out)

Something has been bothering me for quite some time now and tonight I just decided to vent a little bit. Side chicks...some of us know one or two or more & some of us may have even been one or may still be one. I really have an issue with this because it's wrong on so many levels...not just on the girl's part but on the guy's part too.

Do you really think it's ok for you to talk to/sleep with a guy that is supposedly in a committed relationship with another woman? Yes, I know that he may not even tell you that he's in a relationship with someone else but there are signs that let you know that you're the side chick.

You Just Might Be a Side Chick If
Sign #1. He calls/texts you after 10 pm.
Sign #2. You never go out with him in public.
Sign #3. You never get to go over to his place. You always meet up at your place.
Sign #4. He says he doesn't want to put a title on what you have because it just confuses things.
Sign #5. He only hits you up when he wants to have sex with you.
Sign #6. He tells you to delete pics that you take with/of him off of any social network.

Now these aren't the only signs. There are plenty more. I've barely scratched the tip of the iceberg. I've noticed how reality tv shows have tried to put a positive spin on side chicks. There's absolutely nothing good about being a side chick. You're stuck at home waiting on him to call while he's out to eat with his main chick. But you know what makes it even worse though?? When you find out that you're the side chick and you STILL stay with the dude!! Are you just that dumb? (I'm sorry for calling you dumb but your actions really are stupid.) You know it makes you look even more stupid when you're messing with a married man too. He's MARRIED!! If he's unhappy in his marriage, he needs to fix that with his wife by going to counseling or get a divorce. Until then, leave him ALONE!! Until that divorce is finalized, you have no reason & no right to mess with that man. But you'd rather be a side chick than break it off with this guy and just wait on the man that God has for you. Oh...ok then!! And don't say that the sex is too good for you to leave him or he buys you all these nice things so you just can't stay away from him. No ma'am!!

First off, you shouldn't have been sleeping with him in the first place. You do know that sex is designed for marriage and not for the first guy that tells you he "loves" you, right?? Sweetie, I hate to break it to you but that's not love. That's lust. That's just him saying anything so that he can get in your pants. But because you don't know your worth in Christ, you believe him, sleep with him & then wonder why you're so sprung over him. It's called a soul tie. God created sex for married people...not friends with benefits, not boyfriends & girlfriends and definitely not for a side chick and her "bae/boo" or whatever you wanna call him. You're worth so much more than that. Don't you know that you're loved so much by God that He sent Jesus down here to Earth just for Him to die this horrible death on the cross all while carrying every single last one of your sins with Him?? Now that's love. You don't have to put up with that guy and his foolishness. If he really wanted to be with you, he'd be with ONLY YOU!! Instead he "believes" that he can't choose between the two of you so he decides to keep both you and his main chick. See what happens when you give him an ultimatum. You know what? I'll save you the heartache...he's not gonna choose you. He's more than likely gonna choose his main chick because she was there from the jump. But hey, what do I know?? I'm just a girl who has been in that situation before and figured out her worth in Christ so she decided not to put up with it and let the dude go.

Yes, I'm single right now. Why am I single you ask?? Because I don't have time to play these silly little games that most guys my age play. I'd rather wait for the man that God has for me, build a friendship with him, go into a courtship and then eventually marry him. I suggest you do the same thing, ladies. It'll save you a lot of pain & heartache. It's not worth the long nights crying & wondering why he's not responding to your calls & texts. Become whole in Christ before you try to give your heart to a man. It's too precious of a thing for you to be giving to just any ole guy.

Sex: Your Way or God's Way. You Choose

1 Corinthians 6:15-20

¹⁵ Don’t you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! ¹⁶ And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are united into one.”^[d]17 But the person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him.

¹⁸ Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. ¹⁹ Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, ²⁰ for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.

Sexual immorality is a sin that has pretty much overtaken my generation. We feel that in order to have someone love us then we need to have sex with them. This is mostly from ladies. Guys believe that it's okay to have numerous sexual partners. As a Christian, I believe that sex is something that was designed by God to be enjoyed in a marriage covenant. It's not for you to have with your boyfriend or girlfriend or some random person from the club or even just a friend with benefits. 

Sex outside of marriage complicates things. We should know this by now. People "catch" feelings. People gain soul ties. People get STD's. Now there are numerous reasons as to why you should wait until you're married to have sex. The main one I think of is found in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20. You're not honoring God when you have sex before marriage. You're pleasing your flesh and in some cases giving in to peer pressure. Just because everyone else is having sex or that guy or girl pressures you into having sex, doesn't mean that you need to have sex. When Christ is your everything, you will do any and everything you can to please Him. You will not give in to your flesh. If you do happen to fall into that sin, you can repent, confess your sin to God and you will be forgiven. 

When you're having sex before marriage (fornication), you're essentially offering your body to someone who doesn't have the legal rights to it. You don't even own your body...God does!! So how can you give your body to someone when you don't even own it yourself? That's like stealing a laptop from a store and then giving it to someone as a birthday gift. You don't own that laptop because you didn't buy it so you can't give it as a birthday present. God paid a high price for you. He sent His son, Jesus Christ, down to Earth to die on a cross for you. All of those sins that you've committed, are committing right now and will commit in the future (because trust me, everyone sins and there is no sinless person besides Jesus) were carried right on that same cross that Jesus bled and died on! Now when you think about having sex with that guy or girl or committing any other sin, picture Jesus on that cross, hanging there with nails in His hands and feet, blood dripping down his face & body with a crown of thorns sitting atop His head. I would hope that would help you change your mind. If it doesn't then I don't know what to tell you.

Day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, we are constantly bombarded with temptation. Whether it be on television, social media networks, magazines, you name it, the temptation is there. The world is throwing it in our face that a little sexuality goes a long way to sell a product, to get us to watch a television program or to just keep our attention. That does not mean that we give in to what the world is selling. If you continue to feed your flesh, then your flesh will win in the battle versus the spirit. But if you feed your spirit by getting in the Word of God and spending time with Him in prayer then your spirit will obviously win. It's all about who you desire to please more, your spirit/God or your flesh. 

I just want my generation to learn that it's not okay to just go and have sex with any and everybody just because you want to. It's eventually gonna hurt you in the long run. So think twice before you make that phone call or before you get in that bed. It's not worth you going to hell if you don't straighten up your act. 

I was gonna try and end on a positive note but that didn't happen the way I planned. If you like this blog or any of the other blogs that I've posted here on my site, share them with your friends. Maybe you'll bless them or change their lives in some kind of way. If they're not saved, maybe they will give their lives to Christ. You never know...just give it a try!

The Price of Life

Wow!! It's been a while since I've done a blog. I wonder if anyone missed me...probably not. Oh well!! Anyways, this post is mostly for the ladies but the guys can read it as well.

Today as I was walking, I was listening to the "Church Clothes" mixtape by Lecrae. I listened to a specific song on there and it really had me thinking.  It's entitled "The Price of Life" featuring Andy Mineo and Co Campbell. If you haven't listened to it yet, I suggest that you go listen. There's a good message in it.  Ok, I know you're wondering why I'm talking about this song but I'm getting to it.

Here are two quick excerpts from "The Price of Life."
Maybe she gonna see he ain't crazy and start wondering
"God, what's the reason you made me?"
Maybe it ain't to be physically attractive just so you can trap and capture
A man, that'd be superficially happy. Nah, you're worth more than that, yeah.

I know some girls that's faster than T3ch Nine
Self esteem as low as they neck-line
'Cause they don't know whose image they reflect, went to bed to find love, woke up with rats

We, as women/girls, do all these things in order to get a guy. We buy these expensive clothes & shoes. We dress provocatively. We sleep with them. All just to get him to "love" us but what we're really doing is causing boys (and I say boys because only boys are attracted to/go after all that) to lust after us. I call a women that acts that way a girl because she's obviously not mature enough to know that once you get older, a man doesn't really care about all that. Yeah, he'll like for you to dress up and look nice but he doesn't want to see you out in the club every weekend with a drink in your hand, grinding on some dude. Do you really think that you're gonna get a man that way?? I surely hope not.  If a guy approaches you in the club, more than likely he's only looking for one thing anyways and that's sex. If you're vulnerable enough or you don't know your true worth in Christ, then you will give him exactly what he's looking for. A true man, a Godly man, doesn't look for that. He looks for a woman that's in her word (The Bible), praying and seeking God's face. She may also be involved in some type of ministry. Now I'm not saying that you can't dress cute and hang out with your friends every once in a while but if you're doing that just to pull a guy then you're doing it for the wrong reasons. You should do this to make yourself feel good, not to have someone else stare at you like you're a piece of meat.

Self esteem and confidence is a big issue for us as women. I know that a lot of us dress provocatively to get attention which boosts our self-esteem and confidence up. What if all of that was gone? What if he just saw you walking down the street in a t-shirt and some sweats? Do you think he would approach you then? I'm just asking these questions to get you thinking. It shouldn't take you dressing provocatively and showing all the "goods" to get the attention of a guy. Why can't you just sit and have a conversation over coffee (or lunch , for those of you who don't like coffee like me)? I just want you to feel good about yourself and stop chasing after these boys that just want you because they saw a picture of you on Instagram with your breasts and butt hanging all out. Stop thinking that you need a man to validate your worth. If you have low self-esteem and/or no confidence in yourself, first off, that's something that you need to deal with in your heart and mind. Secondly, ask God to help you in this area. He created you anyways and He loves you so much. You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).

 What magazine or reality TV show are you looking at that tells you that you need to be a certain size and dress a certain way to look good? Now I'm not saying that you just need to not care about your health because that's not what I'm saying at all. You can be healthy and still be "thick." All skinny people aren't healthy either. I don't know who told you that lie. Please go correct them, whoever it is.

Some ladies even do this to fill a void in their life. Having a man lust after you does not fill that void that you have. Only the love of Jesus Christ can do that. All you have to do is believe in Him, make Him your personal Lord and Savior and then make the necessary changes to live a holy and separate life. A lot of people feel that they need to be "clean" and perfect for them to come to Christ. Whoever told you that is completely and absolutely WRONG!! God will begin to work on you once you have accepted Him into your life. He's already accepted you...He's just waiting on you to accept Him. Ok, I'm starting something that I won't be able to finish in this blog so I will get back to the task at hand.

Ladies, I just want you to know that you're worth more than the money that you spend on these club dresses, heels & make-up that you wear only to "catch" a guy. Go take a seat, pour your heart out to God and He'll reveal some things in you that you never knew were there. God loves you more than any guy ever will and He wants you to know that.

God is...

There are so many different names that we have for God. Honestly, we could never list out every single name that He has. But what I do want to do is name some of the qualities and characteristics of God that are true to me and my life...

God is amazing

wonderful

loving 

kind

gracious

and powerful.

He is my Father

my Provider

my Everything

my All

my Healer 

and my Redeemer.

He is the one and only true and living God.

He is my Comforter 

and my present help in times of trouble.

He is always there when I need Him.

He is the greatest Listener of all time.

He is all that I need and so much more.

I could go on and on talking about Him but I would never be able to finish.

So God, I just thank You for who You are to me!

I'm Sorry (My Apology Letter to God)

I'm sorry for all the hurt that I've caused You.
I'm sorry for not being honest with You.
I'm sorry for disobeying You.
I'm sorry for putting others things in front of You.
I'm sorry for not giving You my all.
I'm sorry for all the lies that I've told You.
I'm sorry for not believing You'll make a way for me.
You love me even though I've messed up so many times.
You loved me even when I wasn't living for You.
You take care of me each and every day.
You never have and never will give up on me.

You are my Heavenly Father, my provider, my healer, my redeemer, my friend, my all, my everything.
And the list goes on...
I thank You because You didn't have to do any of the things that You do for me but You do them anyways.
I thank You that I am made whole through You.
I thank You for Your son, Jesus Christ, who came and died on the cross for me.
I thank You that it is through Him that I am made new.
I thank You because I don't know where I would be without You in my life.
I thank You for Your grace and mercy.
I thank You for Your unfailing love.
God, I just thank You for who You are.
Without You, I am NOTHING!
So, I just want to say I'm sorry for all of the wrong that I've done to You and that I give myself wholeheartedly to You.
Again, I thank You for accepting me.
Love,
Your Daughter,
Kristen

Random Thoughts In My Mind

Originally Posted on July 30, 2011

It's been quite some time since I've written a new note for Facebook and I think it's about time for me to speak up about some things. This note may end up being all over the place but it wouldn't be me if it wasn't. You may not like me at the end of this note but that's ok. I'm prepared for it. So let's go ahead and get started. 

Ladies

We are some of the most beautiful creatures on this earth but yet we wish to show everything that God gave us by wearing scantily clad clothing. Yes, I know it's hot this summer but that doesn't mean that we should go out half naked. There's no reason why you should even dress that way. You attract unnecessary attention and then wonder why you have all these guys lusting after you. Uhh...did you look in the mirror, hun? We've gotta remember that we do not need to dress a certain way to attract the attention of a man. And if you do feel like that's the way to get a man, then you're sadly mistaken. Just because God gave you all of the curves you have does NOT mean that you should show them to the world. That is for your future husband only. Also ladies when you show all your goods in a profile picture and wonder why all of a sudden all of these guys are hitting you up in your inbox...don't wonder. Just take a long good look at your profile picture and you'll understand why. Sometimes you girls really make me think that you're very insecure and have low self-esteem because you put up these profile pictures to get a bunch of "likes" and comments. You're getting attention for all of the wrong reasons. Dress modestly and if a guy can't respect that then he's not worth your time. Dismiss him and wait for the man that God has for you. 

Another thing we've got to stop doing on facebook...we've got to stop bashing other females online. It's really getting out of hand. You say you're grown but you refuse to act like it. You act like you're still in junior high and high school with the mess that you start on facebook. I've never seen such childish acts before in my life! You ever think that maybe, just maybe, you should address the girl (I say girl because she obviously has not matured yet if she's starting mess on facebook) face to face or over the phone. Most of these arguments take place because of a guy...come on now, are we still fighting over guys to this day?? If he's with you and with her at the same time, then don't get mad at the girl because sometimes she doesn't know that you're with him too. Both of y'all need to dump the guy and move on. Get over it and get a life! Also if you're arguing over a baby daddy, I'ma need for you to sit down and shut up. You sitting here messaing the girl talking about, "He loved me first," and all this other mess. He obviously doesn't love either one of y'all if he hasn't married one of y'all yet. Please learn to wait until you're married to have sex and then have kids because it really puts a strain on the relationship that you're in. But I digress...He left you after you had his child and went and got another girl pregnant. That's his problem, not the new girl. You do NOT need to get into an argument with that girl because she's having a child by your baby daddy. Y'all have someone in common and you're gonna have to get used to it because neither one of you aregoing anywhere and neither are your children. Just make sure that he's taking care of both of y'all's kids please!

Ladies, what I'm trying to say is that we need to strive to be more like the women of God that He has called us to be. Respect yourself and others around you! Dress modestly and stop having guys lust over you! Learn when to shut up when something doesn't involve you! It's not your business and never will be your business so let that person deal with it and let it go!

Men

I must say that y'all are some of the funniest creatures I've ever laid my eyes on. Y'all obviously have a problem with clothing as well. Sagging is not AND never will be cute! I'm tired of seeing ALL of your underwear hanging out the back of your pants. My question is, How in the world do you walk with your pants hanging to your knees?? Isn't that a little uncomfortable? Doesn't that make it hard for you to walk? I love y'all very much but this has got to stop. Do you honestly think that somebody is going to hire you in the corporate world if you come to a job interview with your pants hanging low?? Umm...I hope not! Sagging is just my main concern when it comes to clothing. I still have more topics for you though...

Some of y'all have the absolute WORST pick-up lines and they're not even corny...they're just lame and ignorant. If you still use any of these lines, I'ma need for you to do better: "Psst, hey shawty. Come 'ere. Let me get your number." "Are you single? Let's get to know each other." "You know God said you're my wife." All of these need to be retired and that last one I mentioned is getting bad because I know that some of y'all did NOT even talk to God that day for Him to say that I'm your wife. Boy, I just met you. Let's be real now! Can y'all please develop a relationship with God before y'all start trying to "holla" at the first pretty girl y'all see? And ladies, can we please stop falling for it??

#DeathToSwag

Why, oh why, did anyone come up with the word, swag?? It's been misused and abused for the past couple of years now. Sad to say, even Christians are killing the word, swag! It has got to stop NOW!! So, is swag a required personality trait now or something before getting into a relationship with someone? Because that's what it looks like! Y'all have it so backwards now. What about an in-depth relationship with God before pursuing a relationship with someone? That should always be first! But no, y'all wanna focus on some doggone swag! Can you look and sound any more ignorant than right now? I would hope not but there's obviously no telling nowadays. Let's just get rid of swag and other forms of the word right now! Take yourself to jail because you killed it and then we'll have a funeral for it and bury it!  

My Christians Brothers & Sisters

My Christian brothers and sisters, what can I say to y'all? I love all of y'all but we have got to do better. We are some of the most hypocritical and clique-y people I've ever seen. We say we love God but we don't act like it. We go to church on Sundays and maybe even bible study on Wednesdays but other than that, there's nothing left. We act like that's all we need to do in order to get into Heaven. I'm sorry but there's more to it than that. 1. You cannot continue to keep sinning and expect to go to Heaven all because we have God's grace. #NotGonnaHappen Hebrews 10:26-27 NLT: 26 Dear friends, if we deliberately continue sinning after we have received knowledge of the truth, there is no longer any sacrifice that will cover these sins. 27 There is only the terrible expectation of God’s judgment and the raging fire that will consume his enemies. 2. We always seem to forget about the Great Commission. We think that all we have to do is just obey God's word. Matthew 28:18-20 NLT:  18 Jesus came and told his disciples, “I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth. 19 Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations,[a] baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. 20 Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” I mean, don't you want to see more people saved? I know I do...it's time for us to get off our butts and do some work!

We were taught to love one another, right? Then how come we can't do it?? We have God's love inside of us but we don't show it to everybody. Mark 12:28-31 NLT:  28 One of the teachers of religious law was standing there listening to the debate. He realized that Jesus had answered well, so he asked, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?” 29 Jesus replied, “The most important commandment is this: ‘Listen, O Israel! The Lordour God is the one and only Lord. 30 And you must love the Lordyour God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’ 31The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. No other commandment is greater than these.” Luke 6:27-36 NLT: 27 “But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. 28 Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you. 29 If someone slaps you on one cheek, offer the other cheek also. If someone demands your coat, offer your shirt also. 30 Give to anyone who asks; and when things are taken away from you, don’t try to get them back. 31 Do to others as you would like them to do to you. 32 “If you love only those who love you, why should you get credit for that? Even sinners love those who love them! 33 And if you do good only to those who do good to you, why should you get credit? Even sinners do that much! 34 And if you lend money only to those who can repay you, why should you get credit? Even sinners will lend to other sinners for a full return. 35 “Love your enemies! Do good to them. Lend to them without expecting to be repaid. Then your reward from heaven will be very great, and you will truly be acting as children of the Most High, for he is kind to those who are unthankful and wicked. 36 You must be compassionate, just as your Father is compassionate.

We can be some of the meanest and rudest people when it comes to addressing someone's sin. Luke 17:1-4 NLT: 1 One day Jesus said to his disciples, “There will always be temptations to sin, but what sorrow awaits the person who does the tempting! 2 It would be better to be thrown into the sea with a millstone hung around your neck than to cause one of these little ones to fall into sin. 3 So watch yourselves! “If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive. 4 Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive.” We have to learn how to do this one in love though. Some of us hate the sinner AND the sin but we should hate the sin and not the sinner. Don't bash the person if they're doing wrong. Take them off to the side with a Bible in hand and show them in the Word that what they're doing is wrong. Don't just bash them based on your opinions. This is not about you and your feelings or opinions...it's about God and that's all it ever should be about. Leave self out of it!

So this is the end of my note...it could've been longer but I ran out of things to say. I think I got my point across though. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed typing this whole thing out. God bless!!