Something has been bothering me for quite some time now and tonight I just decided to vent a little bit. Side chicks...some of us know one or two or more & some of us may have even been one or may still be one. I really have an issue with this because it's wrong on so many levels...not just on the girl's part but on the guy's part too.
Do you really think it's ok for you to talk to/sleep with a guy that is supposedly in a committed relationship with another woman? Yes, I know that he may not even tell you that he's in a relationship with someone else but there are signs that let you know that you're the side chick.
You Just Might Be a Side Chick If
Sign #1. He calls/texts you after 10 pm.
Sign #2. You never go out with him in public.
Sign #3. You never get to go over to his place. You always meet up at your place.
Sign #4. He says he doesn't want to put a title on what you have because it just confuses things.
Sign #5. He only hits you up when he wants to have sex with you.
Sign #6. He tells you to delete pics that you take with/of him off of any social network.
Now these aren't the only signs. There are plenty more. I've barely scratched the tip of the iceberg. I've noticed how reality tv shows have tried to put a positive spin on side chicks. There's absolutely nothing good about being a side chick. You're stuck at home waiting on him to call while he's out to eat with his main chick. But you know what makes it even worse though?? When you find out that you're the side chick and you STILL stay with the dude!! Are you just that dumb? (I'm sorry for calling you dumb but your actions really are stupid.) You know it makes you look even more stupid when you're messing with a married man too. He's MARRIED!! If he's unhappy in his marriage, he needs to fix that with his wife by going to counseling or get a divorce. Until then, leave him ALONE!! Until that divorce is finalized, you have no reason & no right to mess with that man. But you'd rather be a side chick than break it off with this guy and just wait on the man that God has for you. Oh...ok then!! And don't say that the sex is too good for you to leave him or he buys you all these nice things so you just can't stay away from him. No ma'am!!
First off, you shouldn't have been sleeping with him in the first place. You do know that sex is designed for marriage and not for the first guy that tells you he "loves" you, right?? Sweetie, I hate to break it to you but that's not love. That's lust. That's just him saying anything so that he can get in your pants. But because you don't know your worth in Christ, you believe him, sleep with him & then wonder why you're so sprung over him. It's called a soul tie. God created sex for married people...not friends with benefits, not boyfriends & girlfriends and definitely not for a side chick and her "bae/boo" or whatever you wanna call him. You're worth so much more than that. Don't you know that you're loved so much by God that He sent Jesus down here to Earth just for Him to die this horrible death on the cross all while carrying every single last one of your sins with Him?? Now that's love. You don't have to put up with that guy and his foolishness. If he really wanted to be with you, he'd be with ONLY YOU!! Instead he "believes" that he can't choose between the two of you so he decides to keep both you and his main chick. See what happens when you give him an ultimatum. You know what? I'll save you the heartache...he's not gonna choose you. He's more than likely gonna choose his main chick because she was there from the jump. But hey, what do I know?? I'm just a girl who has been in that situation before and figured out her worth in Christ so she decided not to put up with it and let the dude go.
Yes, I'm single right now. Why am I single you ask?? Because I don't have time to play these silly little games that most guys my age play. I'd rather wait for the man that God has for me, build a friendship with him, go into a courtship and then eventually marry him. I suggest you do the same thing, ladies. It'll save you a lot of pain & heartache. It's not worth the long nights crying & wondering why he's not responding to your calls & texts. Become whole in Christ before you try to give your heart to a man. It's too precious of a thing for you to be giving to just any ole guy.
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Sex: Your Way or God's Way. You Choose
1 Corinthians 6:15-20
15 Don’t you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! 16 And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are united into one.”[d]17 But the person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him.
18 Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. 19 Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, 20 for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.
Sexual immorality is a sin that has pretty much overtaken my generation. We feel that in order to have someone love us then we need to have sex with them. This is mostly from ladies. Guys believe that it's okay to have numerous sexual partners. As a Christian, I believe that sex is something that was designed by God to be enjoyed in a marriage covenant. It's not for you to have with your boyfriend or girlfriend or some random person from the club or even just a friend with benefits.
Sex outside of marriage complicates things. We should know this by now. People "catch" feelings. People gain soul ties. People get STD's. Now there are numerous reasons as to why you should wait until you're married to have sex. The main one I think of is found in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20. You're not honoring God when you have sex before marriage. You're pleasing your flesh and in some cases giving in to peer pressure. Just because everyone else is having sex or that guy or girl pressures you into having sex, doesn't mean that you need to have sex. When Christ is your everything, you will do any and everything you can to please Him. You will not give in to your flesh. If you do happen to fall into that sin, you can repent, confess your sin to God and you will be forgiven.
When you're having sex before marriage (fornication), you're essentially offering your body to someone who doesn't have the legal rights to it. You don't even own your body...God does!! So how can you give your body to someone when you don't even own it yourself? That's like stealing a laptop from a store and then giving it to someone as a birthday gift. You don't own that laptop because you didn't buy it so you can't give it as a birthday present. God paid a high price for you. He sent His son, Jesus Christ, down to Earth to die on a cross for you. All of those sins that you've committed, are committing right now and will commit in the future (because trust me, everyone sins and there is no sinless person besides Jesus) were carried right on that same cross that Jesus bled and died on! Now when you think about having sex with that guy or girl or committing any other sin, picture Jesus on that cross, hanging there with nails in His hands and feet, blood dripping down his face & body with a crown of thorns sitting atop His head. I would hope that would help you change your mind. If it doesn't then I don't know what to tell you.
Day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, we are constantly bombarded with temptation. Whether it be on television, social media networks, magazines, you name it, the temptation is there. The world is throwing it in our face that a little sexuality goes a long way to sell a product, to get us to watch a television program or to just keep our attention. That does not mean that we give in to what the world is selling. If you continue to feed your flesh, then your flesh will win in the battle versus the spirit. But if you feed your spirit by getting in the Word of God and spending time with Him in prayer then your spirit will obviously win. It's all about who you desire to please more, your spirit/God or your flesh.
I just want my generation to learn that it's not okay to just go and have sex with any and everybody just because you want to. It's eventually gonna hurt you in the long run. So think twice before you make that phone call or before you get in that bed. It's not worth you going to hell if you don't straighten up your act.
I was gonna try and end on a positive note but that didn't happen the way I planned. If you like this blog or any of the other blogs that I've posted here on my site, share them with your friends. Maybe you'll bless them or change their lives in some kind of way. If they're not saved, maybe they will give their lives to Christ. You never know...just give it a try!
Thursday, March 14, 2013
The Price of Life
Wow!! It's been a while since I've done a blog. I wonder if anyone missed me...probably not. Oh well!! Anyways, this post is mostly for the ladies but the guys can read it as well.
Today as I was walking, I was listening to the "Church Clothes" mixtape by Lecrae. I listened to a specific song on there and it really had me thinking. It's entitled "The Price of Life" featuring Andy Mineo and Co Campbell. If you haven't listened to it yet, I suggest that you go listen. There's a good message in it. Ok, I know you're wondering why I'm talking about this song but I'm getting to it.
Here are two quick excerpts from "The Price of Life."
Maybe she gonna see he ain't crazy and start wondering
"God, what's the reason you made me?"
Maybe it ain't to be physically attractive just so you can trap and capture
A man, that'd be superficially happy. Nah, you're worth more than that, yeah.
I know some girls that's faster than T3ch Nine
Self esteem as low as they neck-line
'Cause they don't know whose image they reflect, went to bed to find love, woke up with rats
We, as women/girls, do all these things in order to get a guy. We buy these expensive clothes & shoes. We dress provocatively. We sleep with them. All just to get him to "love" us but what we're really doing is causing boys (and I say boys because only boys are attracted to/go after all that) to lust after us. I call a women that acts that way a girl because she's obviously not mature enough to know that once you get older, a man doesn't really care about all that. Yeah, he'll like for you to dress up and look nice but he doesn't want to see you out in the club every weekend with a drink in your hand, grinding on some dude. Do you really think that you're gonna get a man that way?? I surely hope not. If a guy approaches you in the club, more than likely he's only looking for one thing anyways and that's sex. If you're vulnerable enough or you don't know your true worth in Christ, then you will give him exactly what he's looking for. A true man, a Godly man, doesn't look for that. He looks for a woman that's in her word (The Bible), praying and seeking God's face. She may also be involved in some type of ministry. Now I'm not saying that you can't dress cute and hang out with your friends every once in a while but if you're doing that just to pull a guy then you're doing it for the wrong reasons. You should do this to make yourself feel good, not to have someone else stare at you like you're a piece of meat.
Self esteem and confidence is a big issue for us as women. I know that a lot of us dress provocatively to get attention which boosts our self-esteem and confidence up. What if all of that was gone? What if he just saw you walking down the street in a t-shirt and some sweats? Do you think he would approach you then? I'm just asking these questions to get you thinking. It shouldn't take you dressing provocatively and showing all the "goods" to get the attention of a guy. Why can't you just sit and have a conversation over coffee (or lunch , for those of you who don't like coffee like me)? I just want you to feel good about yourself and stop chasing after these boys that just want you because they saw a picture of you on Instagram with your breasts and butt hanging all out. Stop thinking that you need a man to validate your worth. If you have low self-esteem and/or no confidence in yourself, first off, that's something that you need to deal with in your heart and mind. Secondly, ask God to help you in this area. He created you anyways and He loves you so much. You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).
What magazine or reality TV show are you looking at that tells you that you need to be a certain size and dress a certain way to look good? Now I'm not saying that you just need to not care about your health because that's not what I'm saying at all. You can be healthy and still be "thick." All skinny people aren't healthy either. I don't know who told you that lie. Please go correct them, whoever it is.
Some ladies even do this to fill a void in their life. Having a man lust after you does not fill that void that you have. Only the love of Jesus Christ can do that. All you have to do is believe in Him, make Him your personal Lord and Savior and then make the necessary changes to live a holy and separate life. A lot of people feel that they need to be "clean" and perfect for them to come to Christ. Whoever told you that is completely and absolutely WRONG!! God will begin to work on you once you have accepted Him into your life. He's already accepted you...He's just waiting on you to accept Him. Ok, I'm starting something that I won't be able to finish in this blog so I will get back to the task at hand.
Ladies, I just want you to know that you're worth more than the money that you spend on these club dresses, heels & make-up that you wear only to "catch" a guy. Go take a seat, pour your heart out to God and He'll reveal some things in you that you never knew were there. God loves you more than any guy ever will and He wants you to know that.
Today as I was walking, I was listening to the "Church Clothes" mixtape by Lecrae. I listened to a specific song on there and it really had me thinking. It's entitled "The Price of Life" featuring Andy Mineo and Co Campbell. If you haven't listened to it yet, I suggest that you go listen. There's a good message in it. Ok, I know you're wondering why I'm talking about this song but I'm getting to it.
Here are two quick excerpts from "The Price of Life."
Maybe she gonna see he ain't crazy and start wondering
"God, what's the reason you made me?"
Maybe it ain't to be physically attractive just so you can trap and capture
A man, that'd be superficially happy. Nah, you're worth more than that, yeah.
I know some girls that's faster than T3ch Nine
Self esteem as low as they neck-line
'Cause they don't know whose image they reflect, went to bed to find love, woke up with rats
We, as women/girls, do all these things in order to get a guy. We buy these expensive clothes & shoes. We dress provocatively. We sleep with them. All just to get him to "love" us but what we're really doing is causing boys (and I say boys because only boys are attracted to/go after all that) to lust after us. I call a women that acts that way a girl because she's obviously not mature enough to know that once you get older, a man doesn't really care about all that. Yeah, he'll like for you to dress up and look nice but he doesn't want to see you out in the club every weekend with a drink in your hand, grinding on some dude. Do you really think that you're gonna get a man that way?? I surely hope not. If a guy approaches you in the club, more than likely he's only looking for one thing anyways and that's sex. If you're vulnerable enough or you don't know your true worth in Christ, then you will give him exactly what he's looking for. A true man, a Godly man, doesn't look for that. He looks for a woman that's in her word (The Bible), praying and seeking God's face. She may also be involved in some type of ministry. Now I'm not saying that you can't dress cute and hang out with your friends every once in a while but if you're doing that just to pull a guy then you're doing it for the wrong reasons. You should do this to make yourself feel good, not to have someone else stare at you like you're a piece of meat.
Self esteem and confidence is a big issue for us as women. I know that a lot of us dress provocatively to get attention which boosts our self-esteem and confidence up. What if all of that was gone? What if he just saw you walking down the street in a t-shirt and some sweats? Do you think he would approach you then? I'm just asking these questions to get you thinking. It shouldn't take you dressing provocatively and showing all the "goods" to get the attention of a guy. Why can't you just sit and have a conversation over coffee (or lunch , for those of you who don't like coffee like me)? I just want you to feel good about yourself and stop chasing after these boys that just want you because they saw a picture of you on Instagram with your breasts and butt hanging all out. Stop thinking that you need a man to validate your worth. If you have low self-esteem and/or no confidence in yourself, first off, that's something that you need to deal with in your heart and mind. Secondly, ask God to help you in this area. He created you anyways and He loves you so much. You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).
What magazine or reality TV show are you looking at that tells you that you need to be a certain size and dress a certain way to look good? Now I'm not saying that you just need to not care about your health because that's not what I'm saying at all. You can be healthy and still be "thick." All skinny people aren't healthy either. I don't know who told you that lie. Please go correct them, whoever it is.
Some ladies even do this to fill a void in their life. Having a man lust after you does not fill that void that you have. Only the love of Jesus Christ can do that. All you have to do is believe in Him, make Him your personal Lord and Savior and then make the necessary changes to live a holy and separate life. A lot of people feel that they need to be "clean" and perfect for them to come to Christ. Whoever told you that is completely and absolutely WRONG!! God will begin to work on you once you have accepted Him into your life. He's already accepted you...He's just waiting on you to accept Him. Ok, I'm starting something that I won't be able to finish in this blog so I will get back to the task at hand.
Ladies, I just want you to know that you're worth more than the money that you spend on these club dresses, heels & make-up that you wear only to "catch" a guy. Go take a seat, pour your heart out to God and He'll reveal some things in you that you never knew were there. God loves you more than any guy ever will and He wants you to know that.
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